An Understandable One

I've never come to think about this. Nineteen years of life, coupled with all sorts of encounters, experiences, expectations and etc., have all come to a pause in a jiffy. Nobody is going to press the 'Play' button. Neither will I. People see me as an 'easy' person, practically inside-out. They know me well but sadly, that's not me.

Oh ya. Do not ever feel abnormal or outrageous about me, just for you are not me and you will never want to be me. I tried, but not to my best to do whatever I felt like doing. But now, I've got a tip of an iceberg portion of what I've been aiming for. Unfalteringly, I am still trying and again, not to my best.

A moment of transition called for my great resilience. Changes in lifestyle might never take place in a guy's teenage unless there is a pistol on the forehead. He can be even stubborn and hard-hearted than what you are stepping on now. Why so? Don't you know?

I only whispered to him once and he stopped and stared at me. Now only I realized how far love could extend. Ya you might have known about what I'm saying here. And you'd probably feel outrageous and be overwhelmed by the weirdness of mine. I don't mind. Let me continue.

Ya I've never seen him before but that's not the point here. What makes me be the one? Roughly I know. Thank you. While seeing people sinking in enjoyment, joyfulness and excitement, loneliness consoled me, yet so effectively. It disclosed freedom to me that you might as well want to know.

Friends, I've never lost you. Just that I need and I must be like this. Ya, this should be all I could tell you and I've never felt regretful. To some, you might want to loathe this irresponsible coward. Go ahead. No pig heads right in front of your humble abode. Promise.

Oh ya. Let's go back to my exposure. Bearing with 'tortures' and bearing 'fruits' eventually are roughly what my life is all about now. Did you get? Hope you didn't.

It's all so so different now. I've never been informed about this beforehand. A mixture of bitter- sweet feelings gets the better of me. I feel so glad that I didn't give that up halfway and I could give all mine to you soon! I dearly hope that you will love to accept it whole-heartedly and I thank you. Love.